Setting the stage, building the hype, rallying the troops, lights…camera…action. Uh oh, can I really do this? Motivation and accountability are funny things and in the past announcing large goals and seemingly impossible tasks has worked as a drive for me. With all the success this model has proven it may be time that the goal is large enough that I find myself scared enough I lay in bed at night wondering what the hell I’m doing.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the untouchable tasks, goals so large they make you so scared to know where to begin but there has to be a point that setting these becomes counterintuitive and creates the opposite effect that they were intended for in the first place.
Now I know I’m supposed to exude this super mentally tough, indestructible superhuman that is common amongst the ultrarunning sport. I remember a conversation I had with someone who was telling me about this guy in the US that doesn’t produce lactic acid. I think the general public wants to believe in superheroes so bad and some want to be seen as such that we continue the script, a script so full of holes that we gladly look past in order to paint a picture of perfect.
I’ve struggled with defining perfect, what a hero looks like and if they do exist what does it look like. I think people believe that when I run it’s effortless and easy. This is simply untrue.
Perfect exists in the nooks and crannies in the human spirit. As I looked inward doing the math convincing myself that I was fit, capable, strong enough to do this I failed to look outwardly to my community of supporters believing in my abilities, the cause, and in me as not just an athlete but as a human. I can’t stress enough the glow my community gives me and how I feel this energy will fuel me and propel my relentless drive east to run this huge track of land in under 72 days.
I am not a hero. I am an extension of the human spirit that exists in every day, running, and rare disease communities that refuse the status quo and wanting to make the world a better place. Thank you all for lending me your spirit and I will return it in September in good condition.